January 24, 2003
I don't really have much to say today. I've been doing a lot of reflection lately and have come up with a lot of points that I would like to share with you and the rest of the world.
Except that I didn't bother to write down any of this.
I've been madly searching for humor in the world and have had little luck. There are a few things that are only funny because they make headlines -- there haven't been any truly funny stories of late. So, what am I going to do about it all? I'll make them up myself.
Man exhausts self putting together shelf
I must have spent close to an hour and a half last night trying to put together a baker's rack (shelf for the kitchen). It came with, no kidding, 33 separate pieces that all lock together using the 54 screws, nuts, and bolts also packaged in the box. If you also count the three tools included (allen key, crappy wrench, and tube of glue), you've got a 90 piece puzzle of headache and sweat.
But, alas, my friends, I eventually did conquer the madness at an average of one minute per piece. Not so bad when you consider that the instruction sheet consists of exactly 2 pictures of how everything fits together.
But then again, what am I whining for? I'm a man.
Man admits to giving up dream
"It seems like so long ago that I've actually tried to play it," were the words out of Dennis' mouth as he described the use of the guitar that perpetually sits in the corner of his living room. Every so often, it seems, he takes it off the stand and sits down with it in his lap. Only he doesn't play it.
Every time it comes of the stand, it gets dusted. Then, as though disinterest sets in, the newly cleaned guitar goes directly back to where it came.
"Years ago, when I first touched a guitar, I had every intention of being good enough to captivate a small, personal audience," he says. "It just sort of lost the sparkle it once had. The dream is gone." Today, the guitar gently weeps.
Man has computer peripheral just to look cool
Dennis, of California, has a webcam. It works...just not with his new, updated operating system.
Dennis recieved the webcam as a gift from a relative a few years back when they weren't nearly as popular as they are now. "It was great! I took all sorts of pictures of the things around my room and sent them in emails. It was almost like letting my friends into the room to look around!" Then he moved.
Dennis moved to California and lost contact with the camera. Then he moved again, this time inside of California. "When I finally got everything packed up and set up, I couldn't find the webcam. I was convinced that I had lost it completely when my brother called me up and told me I had left it at his house." That was all Dennis needed. He rushed out to get his camera and returned in about three and a half weeks. He finally had been reunited with the long-lost webcam only to find that "it doesn't work with this new OS [Operating System]. But it still looks all sweet. I put it next to the computer to make people think it works. After all, I have this USB hub. It's lame to only have one thing plugged into a 4-port." Dennis is widely known an icon of peripheral coolness.
Well, I tried. If you have any comments, please email me. I'm looking for pictures that intellectually stimulating and perhaps insulting. www.3bp.com got started a few years before me. Thanks for listening.
Posted by dennis @ 06:47 AM